Help! How Do You Know When “It’s Time”? (Vet Answered)
This question has been answered by a vet
Veterinarian & Animal Behaviorist
With nearly two decades in veterinary medicine, Dr. Paola brings hands-on experience across multiple species. A graduate of the University of Guadalajara, she specializes in preventive care, animal welfare, and positive reinforcement training.
The Question
“Dear Dr. Paola,
How do you know when it’s time to put your pet down? Boots is a Bischon and 16. He has arthritis in his back legs on gabapentin daily. He can’t hold his poop and pee and will just go in the house. He whines a lot, but I’m not sure if he feels pain or just wants me by him. He does not jump up or down from the furniture anymore. I don’t want to be the bad person that just puts him down.” – Pam
Quick Info about Boots
Hi Pam, I can feel how much you love Boots just by reading your question and I understand how difficult this decision is for you. Deciding when it’s time to say goodbye to a beloved pet is one of the hardest choices we face as pet parents, and it’s clear you want to make the most compassionate decision for him.
I suggest you begin by assessing Boots’ quality of life. Veterinarians often use frameworks like the “Quality of Life Scale,” which evaluates factors like mobility, appetite, hydration, pain control, hygiene, and overall happiness. From what you describe (whining, incontinence, and loss of mobility), these may indicate he is struggling. Whining can be a sign of pain, discomfort, or confusion, especially in older dogs developing senile dementia. While gabapentin can help with arthritis pain, it may not fully address his discomfort if other conditions, such as cognitive dysfunction or organ decline, are also affecting him.
A good starting point would be to ask yourself:
Does he still enjoy the things that once made him happy?
Are his good days outnumbered by bad ones?
Does he seem to be suffering more than thriving?
And please remember it’s not about being a “bad person;” choosing euthanasia is an act of love and compassion when it prevents prolonged suffering. A conversation with your veterinarian can provide clarity. They can assess Boots’ physical and emotional state and help you weigh whether his pain and decline outweigh his moments of joy. You may also find it helpful to schedule an online call with one of our veterinarians at PangoVet to help you navigate your feelings, understand the options and consequences, and better understand Boots’ needs.
Ultimately, Boots trusts you to act in his best interest, and whatever you decide, it will come from a place of love and care. I have a feeling that you’ve given him a wonderful life, and your thoughtfulness now reflects the depth of your bond. Remember that love and attachments are different, true love prioritizes the other one’s well-being while attachment focuses on our own feelings.
Best wishes,
Dr. Paola